Two Eskimos sitting in their boat were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the boat, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He sidled up to the bar and announced, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” she said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named Amal. The other went to a family in Spain, and they named him Juan. Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished that she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded, “But they’re twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”